(Source: indiainindia)
i just google image searched “dew drop fairy” and “smoke coming out of ears”. neither search gave me a picture i was satisfied with.
im really fucking frustrated right now. first of all, a year is a hell of a lot longer than i thought it was going to be. im already ready to start doing new things and not be working at the slots and not be living in bangor and not be dancing with robinson ballet anymore.
and okay, i know im not going to be a professional dancer- i’m nowhere near good enough, my body is not a dance body, and probably most places would think i’m too old. but i’ve been dancing with maureen and keith for such a long time- and i have done so much with them and for them and this year i’m really just ready to take someone out. i’m the dew drop fairy again, which is fine, because it’s something i love, and the music is beautiful, but every fucking chance she gets maureen puts august in there with me. or better yet, in front of me. i know he’s good. he’s fucking fantastic, but he is dancing SO many other roles, whereas i….am not. and he’s too small and im too fat so he can’t lift me, so instead of being able to go with all the music i love, i am passed over. i just- GAH!!! and ive really been working hard to make myself not suck at this. and im working hard to make myself not be angry about it all the time. and i know this is so whiney and self indulgent but this is my last nutcracker (probably EVER) and this is what i fucking get. “oh, we will miss you, but you really just aren’t good enough to do this the regular way.”
worse still is that ben’s whole family is coming. and i’m like, barely dancing. awesome.
i tried to talk to land about this, but he just went on about how HE could be dancing all kinds of other things too…………………….and that’s about all i am gonna say about that.
and im sorry, all of you that read this. tell me to get a grip and stop being such a diva. i know that it’s something i need to hear. this is just something i need to get out i think. if there’s a delete or private option….maybe ill go with that.
Current status.
So Ian McKellan is the coolest fucker ever? Is that right? Yeah, that’s right.
| — | Jessica Kiang, from the blog ‘The Playlist’ discussing the Twighlight series. And life? (via joeybear) |
Okay. Write this one down. Never EVER allow another pity date with some graduate student who stalks and then proceeds to send you flattering messages on facebook. It will NEVER end well. ”Well, I say to nobody as I step out of the bar, “I DID get a free Woodchuck out of it. I check my watch. Almost eleven. I can catch the bus and forget this ever happened. Shit, I got so bored that I actually started hypothesizing about the poor sap a few stools over. I didn’t get very far- I was mostly stuck on why he would go two years without doing it. Not voluntarily, I hope. Maybe he’s one of those born again Christian, just recently saved from an eternity of torment and agony in hell. Eh, I’ve come to terms with that fate. At least I’ll be with friends. I step out onto the brick sidewalk, incredibly grateful that Devin hadn’t offered to take me home. There’s really only so much one can hear about Marcel Proust. Maybe he’ll stay away if I tell him that I used Sparknotes for my term paper he graded on Swann’s Way. Hm. Maybe I should have led with that.
Out of the corner of my eye I see the poor sap from the bar a few steps behind me. I pause for a moment, considering the pepper spray in my bag. I can always rely on that if he gets fresh. Besides, the bus stop is only a few blocks away. I turn to him. ”Hey Rich.”
For a moment he looks like he might shy away from me. I can’t tell if he’s blushing or not, but he’s blinking a whole lot. ”Oh. Um, hey there. Hi.”
Rich looks like the kind of guy who was possibly cute once. I guess. His hair is dyed shoe- polish black, which is pretty gross, and his beard is kind of out of control- not a five o clock shadow, not old man in the mountain, just- there. And it doesn’t match his hair. But he’s not unattractive. I bet he cleans up nice.
“Your, uh, your friend isn’t seeing you home?”
I snort. ”Christ, not if I can help it.” I pause, wondering if he saw the kiss that I couldn’t avoid. ”It was really more of a- i feel awkwardly obligated because you gave me an A on a paper I Sparknoted- kind of thing.” Rich furrows his brow. ”I mean, I wasn’t sleeping with him for a grade or anything,” Shit. ”I mean, I wasn’t sleeping with him at all.” Rich is looking at me like he expects some sort of cohesive answer. This is usually about the time that someone would do the humane thing and cut me off. Rich does nothing of the sort, he just stands there with his arms crossed, trying not to laugh at me.” I should probably go. He’s heard enough. ”Anyways, I’m gonna get the bus. Nice to meet you, hope you start getting some soon.” He smiles. I turn to leave. Write this one down. Stop talking to people.
Awww
